They were everywhere. They came from all sides. One more annoying and devestating than the other. When Odo had realized in what danger he was, he had transformed into a Death Star, by pure instinct. It had been enough to kill the Magic-Yaoi-Sue-Fangirl, yes. But it had also destroyed the entire security office and parts of the habitat ring above it. The last thing Quark and Weyoun had seen when they escaped back to the bar was the Death Star-Odo, breaking free from the debris he had caused, and launching himself into space.

"Damn shapeshifter!" Quark muttered as they ran, firing phasers in all directions. "He had the means to escape all the time! Why did that egomaniac not take us with him?!" "The Founder will go and get help!" Weyoun replied and killed an approaching fangirl with a clean, pointed headshot. "I should have known you'd come up with that story again!" Quark groaned. "But here's the news, Odo is not a god. He's a damn egoistic bastard and he left us behind!" "He has faith in us that we can hold out until he returns with help!" Weyoun argued. "Can it be your delusions get worse with each clone?" Quark sighed and pushed the door to the bar open.

He quickly slipped in, not opening the door wider than neccessary. Weyoun followed him, slammed the door and while the Ferengi began to lock it, the Vorta got tables and chairs and dead Jem'Hadars to barricade it. "Come here, I need your help!" he heard Quark from the bar. "I can't carry Morn alone!" Weyoun hurried to get over to Quark, who tried to move the Lurian from his chair to add his weight to the barricade. Together, they managed it to carry the massive alien through the room.

"So far, so good..." Quark sank to the floor, leaning his back against the counter. "No, not good", Weyoun replied. Exhausted, he sat down next to Quark. "Our weapons are almost depleted. We need new ones." "I know", the Ferengi said. "And we need a new plan. Out there are at least 25 Sues and fangirls. No way we'll make it anywhere near the shuttle bay or engineering." Weyoun nodded. "Not without being raped, tortured and slashed, at least." Quark looked over to him, utter disgust in his eyes. "You don't consider that as an option, do you?" Weyoun stared at him, equally disgusted. "Of course not! Or do I look like someone who enjoys being stripped naked by underaged humans for... their horrific mating rituals?!" Quark grinned, bitterly. "No, you don't", he admitted. "But I never judge a book by it's cover." The Vorta's eyes glittered angrily, but before he could return the compliment, a giggling voice from across the room said: "ZOMG UR SO KEWT 2GETHER!!!1"

Quark and Weyoun froze in shock. A self insert fangirl emerged from the darkness of the first level. Probably, it had been hiding in the holosuite. Quark recovered first. He fired a phaser charge to the stairs, grabbed Weyoun's arm and dragged him behind the bar. "Quick, get the alcohol!" he whispered and pointed to a board behind them. "Maybe we can make molotov cocktails somehow." Weyoun raised an eyebrow. "And set the bar on fire? I admire your genius..." Nonetheless, he crawled to the board and began to grab some of the bottles.

"I no ur there!!! :heartsmily: I CAN C U!!!!1" they heard the high pitched, annoying voice of the self insert say. It came closer. And there was something else out there. Quark and Weyoun could both feel it, and they knew the other one knew. There was no need to speak, no words for it. Like an unmerciful winter crept over fields of green, leaving only death and cold behind, the evil crept towards them. It was a Pity Me-Sue.

Pity Me-Sues were some of the most dangerous creatures that came on board of the station during the invasion. Out of universe dressed, usually in pink and black, and with the ability to take massive damage without losing their functionality. Like robots, they moved through the hallways; unstoppable doom. Like soul vampires they sucked any hope out of their victims and left them empty, emotionally unstable - easy prey for Fix It-Sues and Hurt/Comfort-fangirls. And like zombies, they were uneffected by most weapons and means of defense.

Weyoun, with an armfull of bottles, crawled back to Quark. The Ferengi tried to hide his fear, but he did a really poor job on it. Weyoun felt tempted to make a sarcastic remark about that, but a part of him felt exactly the same, so he remained quiet. "There's also a Magic Sue out there", Quark whispered. "I can see the rainbow reflections of its hair." He tried to sound strong, but again, failed. Weyoun's face dropped. "Then we are doomed", he said, sadly. "Give me the bottles." Quark gave him a serious glance. "At least, we'll go out in a blaze of glory. And with our clothes still on." The Vorta handed him the bottles. "For you, this will be the end", he whispered. "For me, it only means they clone me again and it all starts from the beginning."